经历圣灵 胆怯变刚强
今天我要分享我如何经历圣灵更新，领受方言和属灵恩赐服事的见证。
我是在一间传统教会接受主并受洗，之后上主日学，在真理上扎根，在信仰上是按部就班，认真学习与参与各样事奉的基督徒。在神的话语上是扎根，但对圣灵很陌生，对圣灵的作为，圣灵恩赐只是字面上的认识，教会也不谈圣灵更新的事，恐怕引起混乱，无形中我也对圣灵充满，圣灵恩赐有所抗拒。
我是怎么开始对圣灵充满感到渴慕并经历祂呢？那是我在教会宣教站服事，是个传福音，做社区服事的教会，因在事奉上很忙但感到无力感，祷告没有属灵的力量，事奉没有太大的果效，就开始渴慕圣灵更新，渴慕在灵里方言祷告。我是在一个特别聚会里一位牧师为要领受方言的弟兄姐妹祷告，我也出去被祷告，当下没什么感觉，也没立刻说方言，感谢主，过后为了不让自己疑惑，我在每天的灵修里，是一面敬拜，一面“单音”坚持的说方言，一点热热，腹中永流，圣灵充满的感觉也没有，我就这样祷告了一个月左右，就在一个小小的祷告会里，我开声小声方言祷告，才一下子，我仿佛听到神对我说，孩子把头抬起来祷告，那时圣灵给的一份刚强和勇气，抬头以宣告式的方言祷告，我第一次感觉有能力在我口中，我清楚知道不是我，我感觉到一份神圣的敬畏，同一个时候，另一个姐妹同步以悟性祷告，一来一往，是同感一灵，结合在一起，並同时结束，结束时是带着神圣的肃静, 再多说就不出于神，后来有人分享,看到幔子打开，祷告上升，我感谢神让我经历超乎我能想像，不是我乃是圣灵在带领的方言祷告。
方言祷告是造就自己,並在灵里说出各样的奥秘。我在GK611教会经历圣灵的充满是另一个层次，是在启示性祷告服事上。经过多年的方言祷告，已经到了很舒服很自在的情况，神也感动我，不单只是方言祷告，而是要进入启示性悟性的服事祷告。领受属灵恩赐是要造就人，造就教会，不是自己收着用，我也祷告神透过方言祷告，我能转入悟性启示性的服事祷告。
我的性格是胆怯，被动型，没人上了我才勉强上去服事，最好不要叫我，过去这一两年圣灵的充满是内敛的，不再停留在外显，而是在服事上的刚强，是超乎我的本能，我的性格。感谢神，我有机会在晨祷追求，开始也不知道什么是追求，也要靠临场圣灵的感动，若不是圣灵的帮助，我没能有信心，刚强的祷告。
不是依靠势力才能，是依靠祂的灵方能成事。当我依靠圣灵时就刚强壮胆，不再看自己能做什么，哥林多后书4:7 说：我们有这宝贝放在瓦器里，要显明这莫大的能力是出于神，不是出于我们。求神使用我，因有这宝贝圣灵在我里面，要彰显莫大的能力，这是出于神，为着神得着一切的荣耀。阿们！
From being Timid to Bold after encountering the Holy Spirit
Shekinah Tan
Today I am going to share how I experienced the renewal of the Holy Spirit and the receiving of the gift of tongue and spiritual gifts for ministry.
I accepted the Lord and was baptised in a traditional church. Later, I went to Sunday school and took root in the truth. I followed the prescribed order in the faith and was conscientious in study and participated in various ministries as a Christian. I was rooted in the Word of God but unfamiliar with the Holy Spirit. I had only literal understanding of the works and the gifts of the Holy Spirit. The church did not preach about the renewal of the Holy Spirit with the concern that it may cause confusion. Naturally, I developed resistance towards the filling and gifts of the Holy Spirit.
How did I start to yearn for and experience the filling of the Holy Spirit? That was when I served at the mission department of the church involving in evangelising and community service. The ministry was very busy, however, and I felt powerless, with no spiritual power in prayer and not much result in my serving. I began to yearn for the renewal of the Holy Spirit and praying in tongue. During one of the special meetings, the pastor invited brothers and sisters who wanted to receive the gift of tongue and I went forward to be prayed upon. I did not feel much at that moment and did not speak in tongue immediately. I thank the Lord, in order not to doubt, in my daily devotion, I persisted speaking in tongue with only monophonic sound while worshipping. But there was still no filling of the Holy Spirit, no feeling of warmth nor movement in my belly. I did this for about a month. Then in one of the usual prayer meetings, I started to pray quietly in tongue. Suddenly, I seemed to hear God saying to me, “My child, lift up your head and pray.” At that moment, the Holy Spirit gave me boldness, I lifted my head and prayed in tongue in a declarative manner. For the first time I felt power in my mouth, I knew it was not me for I felt a divine awe. At the same time, another sister prayed with words synchronously, to and forth we went in one Spirit, united together and ended at the same time. There was a divine quietness at the end, any extra would not be from God. Later someone shared seeing the veil open and prayers rising. I thank God for letting me experience beyond my imagination, I prayed in tongue not by myself but led by the Holy Spirit.
Praying in tongue is to edify oneself and to express various mysteries in the spirit. My experience of the filling of the Holy Spirit in GK611 is at another level, in revelatory prayer ministry. After years of praying in tongue, I am very comfortable and natural with it. God also moved me not only to pray in tongue but also to enter in prophetic prayer ministry. Receiving the spiritual gifts is to edify people, to edify the churches and not to be kept and benefit oneself. I also pray to God that through praying in tongue, I can serve in prophetic prayer ministry.
My personality is timid and passive. When no one wants to serve then I would serve reluctantly and I preferred not to be called. In the past two years, the filling of the Holy Spirit was restrained, no longer stays on the outside. The strength of my ministry is beyond my ability and character. Thank God, I have the opportunity to pursue in the morning devotion. In the beginning I did not know what is pursue and relied on the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Without the help of the Holy Spirit, I would not have faith to pray boldly.
Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit. I become strong and courageous when I rely on the Holy Spirit. I no longer see what I could do. 2 Corinthians 4:7, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” May God uses me with the precious Holy Spirit in me, to manifest great power and may God receives all the glory. Amen!